This Mother's Day, I found myself reflecting on what mother's day really was. In other years, I wanted a break, some time alone. This year, I clearly wanted to be with my children, for without them I would not be a mother. Then I thought about the gifts, how commercialized almost every holiday is in America. Buy flowers, jewelry, just buy, buy, buy.
I personally love items that are handmade or something that took time and thought to execute; it lets me know that someone took time to think about me, consider what I like and projecting love. Well love is what I see when well-crafted words or a perfect card, a rock that was searched for, a book empty or full, a collage, scrapbook, massage, etc... Retreat days, spa gift certificates, all those are my little slice of heaven, but is that what mother's day is about?
Maybe it's a time for remembrance. Remembering all our ancestors along our feminine line, honoring what they went through, their sacrifices, their wisdom, their deferred dreams, their love and lessons.
Maybe it's a time of self-nurturing, bringing out that mother within, regardless of your gender. Pulling out resources that we didn't even know we had. Loving ourselves like Clair Cosby, Alice Brady, Mother Theresa and Amma love others. Providing the nurture, support and acceptance that we crave, that a mother can represent to ourselves. For us by us.
Maybe it's honoring our own experiences as mothers, not over-judging ourselves knowing that we are still mothers even if our children didn't come through our wombs. Even if our children has transitioned, you never stop being a mother. even for those of us who had to make hard decisions, that's what being a mother is all about.
Maybe it's a time to reflect on the many wonders of having a child or children. What we learn by mothering another. How we can apply those lessons to various parts of our lives. The parts of us that were unknown until a child opened it up, the well of love that was untapped before. The ways we make ourselves better to be an example of all the beauty we want in our children's lives; the things we do for them that we have to learn to do for ourselves.
Whatever the reason, whatever way you choose to honor Mother's Day, it is all valid and it is very necessary to focus on more than once a year. Maybe we can have mother's day once a month, even once a week! Something to think about, we have the freedom to create our own traditions.
Honor thy Mother